I recently reflect on myself, why I haven’t reached the point that I imagined myself five years ago would be. I am aware of my potential, on what God has given to me. However, my desire to cultivate what I have is seemingly far from its full potential. I asked myself, “Have I failed?”. Maybe.
But then, I ponder myself again. It is also useless to fall into despair. Self-pity is no good at all. Self-pity is a sign of a wounded pride as a result the cry of our heart due to our sense of self-worthiness is neglected. Besides that, I’m aware that too many times, we fail not because we are incompetent. More often than not, our failure is a result of a lack of focus. Probably, it should not be labelled as failure after all. Rather, it should be seen as a suspended success.
When we are not focused, we are clueless. In fact, having more possibilities in life can be harmful. We might make excuses and justification on our stagnant growth. We may make excuses like, “Oh, it’s okay, I still have that, I still can do that, I still have this backup plans”. Well, I realised that these back-up plans are good. However, it becomes poisonous once it becomes a reason for not pursuing the thing that we meant to do. Alternatives can distract rather than help. Possibilities should redirect us to reach our goal, not suspend us. Solomon wisely recorded a Godly wisdom:
“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.” – Ecclesiastes 9:10 (ESV)
I believe God also wants us to stay focused and investing our effort in the field that He has given us. Pursuing and cultivating on things based on specific talents that God has graciously granted to us, working in His vineyard. I imagine that Jesus also did His carpentry work with all of His might before He began His ministry. I felt rebuked that I often wasting time for things in vain. I pray that God will help and redirect my path to understand what His will is and using my time in wisdom, just as Paul said in Ephesians 5:15-17. Indeed, only God can give us the vision and focus to accomplish what our life need to accomplish.