I often reflect my life in questioning my disintegrated life between work and Jesus. Many times, I could not just as excited as I play my FIFA 12 video game when it comes to prayer time. It is such an irony to me where the Bible calls me to be a light of the world, and the way to grow and fulfill this call is through prayer where we behold the Glory of God until we are transformed from glory to glory into His likeness. Alas, I have been more interested in gazing the LCD screen that displays animated graphic rather than witnessing the presence of God that is so powerful and transforming in my life. Have you ever felt the same? Why we could not just be as enthusiastic as if we play when we pray? Don’t we all want to grow to glow?
The recently appointed Marissa Mayer as new Yahoo CEO, amid the reports higlighting over her astronomical wages, I immediately compared with mine. Whenever there is a good news about someone, say a certain young made has made it in launching his new business, my heart often sparks with envy rather than leaped in joy for him. The centre is always be me that if I have not done it better, then seeing others remained it status quo is what comforts me. I wish that I could opt to be grateful on what I have been blessed rather than murmuring for the differences.
I remembered a particular story of a young man who once being offered the finest position available on earth at that time, and yet he rejected it! His name was Moses and during an era where the Pharaoh was the ruler over the mightiest kingdom above the earth, Moses firmly refused to be appointed as the new CEO in ruling the entire nation. How could Moses resist the lure of Egypt’s finest with all of its riches, security, and power? I think it would be better if we look at what kind of intersection occured at his career path at that time. Instead of choosing the immediate gratification that definitely promises all kind of indulgences that he could get on earth, he surrendered into the plan of the Almighty One, amidst his weaknesses and limitations. He was willing to fulfill his call and indeed, he grew into the agent of Israelites freedom from bondage of Egypt. From pillar of cloud and fire that guided their journey into the Red Sea that was split into two, the Exodus is one of the greatest escape of all time. All was done through his faith that yielded into God’s magnificent provision and the light of His glory shone upon him.
Like Jacob surrendering to the grace and mercy of God, throwing towel to the ring of self-fighting, jumping into the pool of dependance on God’s grace. The story of Jacob wrestling with God is a story of salvation, where God Himself humbles down and took a form of man, to wrestle with man in order to demonstrate the wonder of grace so we can cry, “Bless me O Lord!”. The first blessing from Isaac, Jacob fought for it with all cunning scheme and manipulation. When he got blesse for the second time from God whom he wrestled with, he was finally being honest with his name, surrendering his identity and future through confession of his limitations. His weakness didn’t condemn him, instead served as a tutor into God’s providence. Pursuing holiness is not a pursuit of self-righteouness, but it is the pursuit of The Holy Himself, God in the fullness of His glory.
Blessed are those who are pure in heart, they will se the Kingdom of God. If we are so simple in our thinking, grateful for what we have, we could see the kingdom. God said you must not worship any other god, alas our heart is unbelievably wicked above all else and beyond cure, as Jeremiah said. The supposedly to be temple of the God’s Spirit is an idol factory, constantly prone to worship any object that offers superficial satisfaction.
Why sometimes we feel worship is dry? Can we really enjoy God, rather than the atmosphere? Hasn’t it always been worship as a command versus desire? Worship as the fruit of the grace, that you may be so absorbed into the object of the worship, God Himself. Sensing the connection with God’s heart is the purest form of our spiritual life as our life is in triumph over sins. When the young blind man was sent to the pool of Siloam, which means the “sent One”, the veil was opened and he could see again. More importantly than the sight of the physical nature, that man could ultimately see the beauty of Christ manifested in his life. Come and begs God to purify and cleanse our heart, so that we can gain the highest satisfaction in God. Just as John Piper once said, God is most glorified when we are satisfied in Him. I pray that we will always be excited for facing tomorrows to taste further joy under God’s gracious presence, just as I have always excited to play FIFA on my PlayStation. Only then we can grow into a glowing creation that radiates the fullness of His mercy and joy.